“Here, you just need to fill out this paperwork here, and do you have a witness?” The secretary sitting behind the desk asks us as if she already knows the answer to her own question. I look over at Steven who looks more surprised then I am. I had an inkling that we would run into this problem.
“Could you possibly step in? We really don’t have time to go find someone.” I ask eagerly. The secretary sighs and nods, filling out the witness line on the clipboard. A stab of guilt pierces my stomach, but hey, maybe the curse didn’t work on strangers. Hopefully.
City hall had never exactly been my dream wedding. Far from it, in fact. But Steven was my dream husband, and I wanted out marriage to be perfect…so I knew he’d understand. His family, on the other hand…
It’s just this…curse. Well, that’s what we call it—the Howard family wedding curse. It all started with my great, great, great grandfather Howard. The story goes that he was engaged to marry this girl when, ten minutes before the ceremony, his best friend informed him that he had, ahem, already deflowered his beloved bride. Many a time. This was back in the day before that kind of thing was less unheard of. Well, my great, great, great grandfather (who always had quite the temper apparently) waited until right before he was supposed to say “I do” and instead of vowing to bind himself to her forever, he pulled out a knife and stabbed her in the heart multiple times. It was really quite the scandal.
What does this have to do with me you may ask? Well, ever since this horrible tragedy happened at almost every single wedding the Howard family hosts a family member dies. I’m not kidding, my great grandfather’s unfaithful fiancée must have risen from the dead to curse the weddings of the Howard’s forever. Last year, my brother disregarded the curse as a bunch of bologna and just as he’s saying his vows a bee stung my Uncle Ernie and, it turning out that he’s deathly allergic of bees, he died on the spot.
So I’m not willing to take any risks, and Steven, being the saint that he is, agrees to go along with it. And of course my family isn’t complaining since no one wants to be next.
So city hall works for me. Sure, the ceremony is charmless, but at least there are no tragic deaths. As we are leaving the room as man and wife I notice for the first time that the secretary is looking at us rather awkwardly. I raise my eyebrows questioningly.
“Why are you getting married in city hall?” She blurts out. An odd question, I thought. I find myself not knowing what to say, not wanting to get into the Howard family history. As usual, Steven sweeps in and saves the day.
“Stage fright.” He says, shrugging his shoulders. He really is the perfect man.
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